The Maxx was my type of place. I only wish I wasn’t here on business, because the entire establishment seemed packed to the brim tonight. The ebb and flow of the human masses were VERY enticing, as I watched in envy down at the dance floor as I climbed the stairs to the VIP section. I sighed, as I paused about halfway up. I could go get a few drinks, and be halfway across the city in a couple hours. But, destiny waited for no one. And neither did my paycheck.
Under the strange red and blue lights of the club, I finished my ascent, just as the music changed to a house band that I’d never heard of, but was here for all the same. Screech metal meets a jazzy undertone. An amazing art.
Humans were truly innovators of amazing proportions. I shook my head wistfully as I reached the guardian of the upper level. He was wearing a human face, but I knew he only had one eye and a much less perfect complexion in reality.
“Strophes. Good to see you.” I greeted.
“Good to see you, Billy.” He said, gruffly, in return.
“No trouble tonight?” I asked, out of formality.
“Nope. Some bigwigs in back. But I’m sure Mr. Leland will give you the whole story on them.” He sounded disinterested already. This might be a new record for the Cyclops, who seemed to be unable to hold a conversation longer then a minute. So, I didn’t push my luck.
“Thanks bud. You’re the best.”
I said, patting him on the shoulder as I passed, enduring the side eye that got me. The upper floor had a lot less people, as the Maxx was a lot pickier about it’s VIP’s then the rest of it’s clientele. People who breathed wealth, for one, but also stranger people still. A couple people with fangs, a couple people with obvious magic wands, and others who I didn’t want to stare too long at. Just for safety. Plus, I didn’t have time to chat with anyone for now. Maybe later, if this job was quicker then usual. Fingers crossed.
I quickly navigated to the raised dais in the back, which had runes and symbols of modern magical paradigms etched into it’s edge, and a table that doubled as a glowing aquarium full of fish the types of which I could only guess the origin of. The VIP section of the VIP section. No posted guard, because if anyone was up here, they knew better then to bother Mr. Leland, even on a good night.
He was there, of course. Lounging against the back wall, a complex and ornate drinking glass that was more form then function was in front of him, filled with a royal purple liquid that he occasionally sipped from. Mr. Leland, known in some circles as Leonidas, always appeared young, either 20 or 30, with tousled blonde hair, fair skin, and crimson red eyes that would strike anyone as unnatural. If he ever left the club, I was pretty sure he’d get black bagged by the authorities in seconds, as would many of the Maxx’s guests, but he’d done a lot to ward it from intrusion, and make it a home. Currently, he was alone, his usual entourage of monsters and mages absent, which suited me just find. I strolled up onto the dais like I owned the place, and slid into a seat, a big grin on my face.
“Leo! How goes it?” I asked, with as much energy as I could muster. To his credit, he matched it with a grin of his own, displaying his mouth of sharklike teeth.
“Band! It’s going well. Business is booming. Gold is flowing like water, and we’ve gotten some promising new recruits. So truly, a normal week for me.”
He had a contagious confidence that I couldn’t help but settle into.
“Yeah, big guy out front mentioned a bigwig in back, or something? You got the Chimera Prince back there, or something?”
Both of us got a good laugh out of that.
“No, no, much more mundane and banal. The Senator has seemingly chosen this as a roost for his treasonous little plots. Not that I mind, in fact, I hope he succeeds. Cross is bad for business.”
I nodded. Ever since the Enforcement and Control act had been passed…
“Well, hey, that’s an upside. Maybe you’ll get to see the sun again, you fucking vampire-!” I said, briefly forgetting the actual vampires in the VIP section. Meh, they could stay mad. Leo laughed, anyways.
“Doubtful. I’ll still be busy. But who knows. Maybe you’ll finally get out of the game.” He poked fun in turn, and I was a good sport and laughed in turn, even if it really bit at me for one reason or another.
“Doubtful.” I echoed. “It’s in my nature. Plus, don’t want to get complacent and get thrown in a pit like my cousins. And dying hurts.” I had been meaning to break Larceny out of the government holding cell he was in for awhile, but it had been on the backburner. It was a later problem.
“And this is why I like you, Band. You’re born for this life, like me. Dae would love to have you, if you ever change your mind about staying freelance. You know that, right?” He spoke with such confidence, such enthusiasm, that he almost diluted who he was talking about. It was almost laughable. If it wasn’t slightly insidious.
“I think I’m all good on swearing my soul to Daemon. But hey, if I’m ever in a real bind, I’ll say his name backwards three times in a mirror or something.” I joked, trying to keep the mood up despite my refusal. I didn’t even really have a soul, technically, but it worked, because he slapped me on the shoulder and laughed some more. From an outsider’s perspective, we would’ve almost seemed like friends.
“I’ll get you someday. But anyways. I have a job, if the Avaricious Bandit is interested?”
He said, looking at me with a faint glimmer in his eyes. I leaned forward.
“Of course I’m interested. Wouldn’t have answered your bird if I wasn’t.”
Leo had a tenancy to use birds as messengers. This time, it had been a Raven, because he had a sense of humor.
“Excellent! So, speaking of that Senator. He’s meeting with some VERY interesting people on this eve. Scientists who work in a very particular research division, who have been taking a good deal of money from our friend Garrison. This time, they stole something for him. And as much as I’d like to see what he does with it, and how he’ll try and use it to win a national office, the two million USD and sizable magical trove I’ve been offered overrides my hopes for political upheaval. I’m willing to cut you 25% and your favorite three artifacts if you go back there and steal it.”
Leo was so casual, so smooth, that I almost didn’t see how he was conning me.
“Last time I got 45%, you can’t butter me up into taking a pay cut.” I said, a little more sharply then I meant it.
“Well, it won’t be that hard, so you don’t get paid as much. No life and limb with it, assuming you can handle his two bodyguards. That’s all he has. And they’re just humans, I had Jarrow check. I’m basically cutting you 25% to walk down a hallway. It’s a good deal.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“40%”
“30%”
“35, and if this gets complicated like Santa Monica I get 45 and another artifact.”
“Deal.”
He holds out a hand, and in a plume of purple flame is a paper contract. A wax seal at the top read “Backed and Certified by the Firm of Ellison, Kimblee, and Hyman”.
The contract was the terms we’d just agreed to. I’d go steal the “Fundamental Chip”, as the contract called it, and I’d get a 35% cut of the spoils, along with first pick of three arcane artifacts provided by the employer, who had their name redacted. This tended to happen. Nobody wanted their name on a Daemonic contract as the person paying Daemon.
Usual clauses about failure to deliver, and the contractor’s withdraw fees being exuberantly high, and then at the bottom, a raise if the contract was unable to be reasonably completed within one hour, per industry standard of definition. 45% and a fourth artifact, I could live with that. I scanned it in a few seconds, then nodded, plucking the pen from the table, and pricking my finger with it. I placed my bleeding thumb where the signature line should be.
“I, the Transgressor known only and forever as Bandit, hereby sign and seal this agreement.”
I repeated the same tired line, and felt the faint flux of mystical power, and the familiar sensation of Daemon’s eye on us, for the briefest of moments, before it presumably got bored, and left us well enough alone.
Leo leaned back, and pulled the contract back, now with a magical air around it. He rolled it up, and tucked it into one of those fancy scroll tubes he always tended to carry around with a smile. ‘
“Now that we’ve settled that, I think you have a job to do? He’s in back. You’re looking for the case that isn’t full of a couple mill-“
Leonidas was cut off by the sound of a wave of screaming coming from down at the dance floor. We both stood, using the elevated position of the dais to peer down. The crowds and masses below were parting, running and screaming in various directions, one of the light fixtures had been knocked over to create a dizzying effect as it reflected off of dozens and dozens of surfaces and spaces. Moving through the parted crowd…
“Is that a fucking wolf?” I exclaimed, as I saw the giant beast with silver fur and herculean muscle movement marching through the crowd with trained precision. I blinked a couple times, in case the pills I’d taken a couple hours ago were giving me a hallucination again.
“I’ll handle it.” Said Leo, exasperated, as he stepped forward, his hands igniting in purple flame. “Get to work, Band.”
“Don’t need to tell me twice.” I said, moving over to the railing, and hurling myself over, reaching out in space. Macariotes, a blade about the length of my arm, pulled itself into my hand from wherever it liked to be when I wasn’t paying attention. I landed unharmed, both from acrobatic practice and a touch of my own nature. I then turned, looking down the hallway towards the private sections, and began advancing. I saw several shapes moving towards an exit, when one of the ones in the back pulled out a gun, and pulled the trigger. The light of the muzzle flare illuminated a beautiful blonde woman, with eyes like crystals, skin white as snow, and a put togetherness that I liked in a woman. Shame she was most definitely going to be a problem, because she held a nearly 40 caliber handgun and shot it without even flinching.
The guy who had been standing next to her became wall decoration, but there were more shots then that, she turned around fast. The dead guy, I realized, was dressed like a bodyguard, and so was the woman who had palmed a high caliber revolver, and blew his brains out. I saw the shape of a large man and a smaller one running down the hall, as she pulled the trigger again-the smaller one got clipped, but he’d live, I approximated. He had a case with him. It didn’t look like it had a million dollars in it, so, it was time to work my magic.
I envisioned a plan. I could spring off the wall, land in front of them, and hold him at sword point. He’d be shaken, and fork over the case. Perfect. I prepared to run, but forgot about the woman, who had, evidently, better wits about her then I thought.
She turned around before I expected her to, and shot at me. Lucky for me, she hadn’t been prepared to fight me, which meant the universe was on my side. I pulled out of the way of the bullet, and ran at her.
“Give me the gun, or I’ll feed you your fingers!”
I said, with some force, the magical edict behind the words rippling out towards her. She evidently chose to ignore it. She pulled the trigger again, and a bullet ripped through the air, forcing me to pull Macariotes close to my chest to block it, sending me back a step.
Strong force of will to ignore me. Refusing my offer, though, meant it was easier to carry out the threat. Your money or your life, and all that. A pledge that put the universe at my back. I made a mental plan.
Her gun was short a bullet, because she hadn’t been prepared to fight me. Maybe she had loaded one in, and the powers of banditry had taken it out in turn. So, she had to reach for a different gun. This meant, in turn, that fulfilling my plan, which was to hit her in the skull with the pommel of Macariotes was even easier. I ran forward, and slammed down, and she crumbled with a resounding thump, as the gun clattered to the ground. I picked it up.
“Don’t have time to feed you your fingers, doll, so we’ll call it even-“
I said starting to run down the hall. The two men were opening the door, so I had to move fast. I only made it a few paces before I felt a sharp pain in my back. I reached around, and felt something jutting out of my skin, blood pooling in an area that was almost vital. I wheeled around, and I saw the woman with a poised back throwing arm. But, at the same time, there was a large shadow from the main room. Perfect!
“Yeah. Have fun with that!” I called back, before resuming my sprint. I heard a few more gunshots. Problem solved!
Unfortunately for me, as I turned back around, I saw that my marks had exited out through the back door. I burst out, just in time to see a limousine peeling out of the back lot of the Maxx. I turned the gun onto one tire, and pulled the trigger.
Click.
Right, it had been out of ammunition. I sighed, before tucking it into my jacket, which faintly plugged at the object in my back. I ignored it for now, and began walking towards the street.
I’d need some help, given that I wasn’t faster then a car yet, and I had no idea where they might be going. Served me right for not paying attention to politics.
“Kilili, Kilili, Kilili”
I muttered, feeling a faint magical tug at the name. I ignored the cars honking at me, as I began moving through traffic, and also ignored the crowds of terrified people collecting at the front.
“Kilili, Kilili, Kilili”
The tug increased. I looked back over to the Maxx. If Leo still had his head, which given that the wolf was still moving, seemed unlikely, he might sense that I was summoning his sister. Oh well. Hopefully in whatever stage of rejuvenation he was in, he wouldn’t feel a thing.
“Kilili, Kilili, Kilili.”
For a moment, everything seemed brighter, the world shining in contrast to itself. A moment of immortalized beauty, before it was broken by a nearby car blowing into a streetlight. A passerby falling face first into the pavement with a crack. An attempt to light a cigarette ignited a second story apartment.
And there she was, in my peripheral. She wore a nearly transparent white dress and crystal shoes, her silver hair made her almost angelic, save for the dark eyes she inherited from her father. Her skin was devoid of color, as if there was no blood in her body, and it was like light did not want to traipse near her.
“Kilili, your brother gave me a job, and I could use a hand.” I said, continuing to walk in the middle of the street.
“Of course he did, and of course you do. You both want my help the moment you fumble it the first time.” Her voice was full of disinterest.
“Guilty as charged. But hey, he’s going to owe me a bonus. Say I give you a quarter of the money and artifacts, and you tell me where the nearest United States Senator is.” I kept the banter up, even if it hurt my pride a bit.
“I want half the artifacts. How long will it take.” Her voice now sharpened.
I shrugged.
“Sure. I dunno who the client is so they’d be for my shelf anyways. And if you can point me the way, we can be in and out in an hour or two.”
“Deal. You’ll want a car.”
“Way ahead of you, ash tits”
“Then do your job, and maybe I’ll let you eat what’s in my fireplace.”
I laughed, as she closed her eyes and focused. I then, stepped in front of a car, and pointed the gun at the driver’s side.
“Give me the car, or I pull the trigger.”
Clearly, the driver didn’t observe the lack of a bullet in the chamber, because in a moment, he was on the curb, and I was in the drivers seat, palming the wheel and pulling out of the collision the teleportation might have caused without my quick wit. Kilili manifested in the backseat, only visible through the rear view mirror.
She started speaking directions, and I peeled through the streets of Baltimore.
————————————————————————————
Making quick escapes was another thing I was predisposed to be good at. It was one of many fringe skills of Banditry that I couldn’t tell if I was just talented at, or if it was part of my nature as the transgressor Bandit. It didn’t really matter, because the cops that tried tailing me soon found themselves eating my dust. I pulled into the parking garage at top speed, not because I wanted to, but because Kilili had given me the direction to swerve a little late. I smashed through the closed gate without skipping a beat, and slammed the breaks, because I nearly hit a woman with the stolen 79′ Camero.
Normally, I’d ignore her, and keep driving, but she looked terrified-and shaken beyond belief, so I fully stopped, and rolled down my window. She was sweating, and looked as if she’d just run a mile.
“Something wrong, ma’am?” I put on my best kind passerby voice. Thankfully, she wouldn’t be able to see Kilili in the backseat, that was a privilege reserved for me.
“…Monsters…monsters!” She said, with a few stunned stammers.
“That right? What kind of monsters?” I asked, leading.
“Giant wolf…woman with…a tail!” She sounded terrified, I just sighed and rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, ok. Run along, I’ll handle it.”
Lucky for me, she didn’t ask anymore questions, and I slammed on the gas, taking left, right, and left, in response to Kilili’s directions. Not that I really needed them, as I turned the corner. Looked like a proper shitshow to me. I sized up the scene in the same moment as I screeched around the corner, a giant snake was eating a suspiciously senator shaped object, a giant wolf identical to the one at the Maxx was chewing on a man’s corpse, and a woman with a rattlesnake hair and cowboy getup was talking to a giant canary.
“Fuck it.” I muttered, as I slammed down on the gas, careening straight for the woman. The canary took flight, just as the two ton metal vehicle slammed into her, and I was hurling my way out of the front seat, at just the right moment.
Just as planned.
The car went careening out the side of the parking garage, and nearly took both of them over the edge, were it not for a reinforced safety rail. But, she’d been successfully crushed between steel and steel, an act which would have turned your average human into a car accident statistic.
And yet. She was thrashing, cursing, and shaking that tail of hers. I sucked in a breath, and drew out my sword of choice again, as snake and wolf began to advance, with the canary circling above me.
“Vampire. Pythoness Breed.”
Contributed Kilili helpfully.
“Aren’t those-“
“Extinct? They’re supposed to be. And not for lack of trying on your part. Good luck.”
The demon stayed in my peripheral vision, as I laid out my plan. Most of my tricks wouldn’t work on animals. They didn’t respond well to a highway bandit. The woman might, but not if she was a vampire, and not if she was smart.
Plus, cowboys and bandits.
I flicked my eyes beyond the two animals. The elevator shaft had been broken open, but the mechanisms beyond seemed intact. An escape route.
My plan was intact: Make a quick escape, live to fight another day.
Plus, there was no sign of the smaller guy, who’d been carrying the case. Which meant, there was still a chance.
So as the snake coiled back to strike, and the wolf charged in response to a whistle from the trapped cowboy, I dove forward, through them, slicing as to cut the side of the wolf, brace one foot against the snake, and do a back handspring into-
The wolf was too fast, the snake was too fast, and I forgot about the bird. Rookie mistakes.
The wolf sprung away from my blade’s biting reach, turned on it’s heel, and prepared to pounce. The snake jerked, and partially struck me with it’s tail, and I felt something inside crack. The bird dove, and struck me full force, sending me stumbling. I turned, and drew out the gun I’d stolen, which I’d remembered to load with the bullet the universe had taken from the bodyguard and given to me. It discharged, grazing the wolf, and preventing it from getting the full contact tackle it wanted. Gracefully, I only went flying into a smashed up limousine against the wall.
I decided my wounds weren’t as bad as they should be, and that I had gotten lucky. The goodwill I had stored up facilitated that. The cowboy, however, had gotten free of the car, and began walking towards me, along with her entourage.
I took stock. She was being slow about this, so dramatic. Those animals, whatever they were, could’ve easily taken me out while I was down. Fallen near me, was a folder, with flecks of blood along the front, along with “Property of the United States Government” and “Classified” on it. Seemed important. Might be the reason for my survival.
Kilili was also watching, and I wasn’t going to die here because Banditry still had to make a comeback, so really, it was all going to be fine.
“Time out-time out-“
I said, standing up, moving over to put one foot on the folder. She froze. I grinned, and picked it up.
“Tell you what. Let me go, and this is all yours.”
I said, waving it around a bit.
“Don’t, and I rip it in half.”
I said, preparing the motion.
She…growled. Inhumanly so. The tail behind her rattled twice.
“I don’t make deals with demons.” She finally said.
“Your loss.”
I said, and tossed my hostage to the ground in front of her, and sprung backwards into the elevator shaft. I’d been lucky enough to be calculating my trajectory during our standoff, through the rear view mirror of one of the cars. I fell for a moment, but then grabbed the elevator cable, and used it to fling myself again, ignoring my pain, onto one of the service ledges, and started climbing one of the ladders. I saw the bird swooping to follow me, and the snake coiling up the side of the shaft, but by then, I had my plan. I lunged through a service exit, and onto another floor of the building, and ducked.
I kept expecting to have to launch an ambush, but one never came. Eventually, I stopped hearing the sounds of the animals, so I shrugged, walked to this floor’s elevator, and pushed the call button. It arrived, and I rode it to the top, humming along to the cheesy music that played the whole way.
Kilili appeared next to me in the elevator.
“So, am I walking into a trap?” I asked, nonchalant, ignoring the pain in my chest.
“The vampire is waiting below. She’s going to cut the elevator when you’ve gotten up, and then advance up the stairs.”
Precognitive or logician, I could never tell.
“She would have done that already.” I said, pushing back.
“She thought she had more time before. Clearly.”
“Point. Is our mark up there?” I said, nodding upwards.
“One human heartbeat. Beating fast. Nearby unknown magic. So, most certainly.”
I grinned.
“Alright, piece of cake. Watch a professional go to work.”
The elevator reached the desired floor, chosen from the office directories and the one labeled for poor devoured Garrison. The doors opened, and I heard chatter, as I drew my blade out, and stepped out of the elevator.
In the dark office space, I saw a man, the one from before, thin, lithe, and definitely injured, holding a metal case in one hand, reflected in the skyscape through the window in front of him. Then, at the desk, a dark skinned person with metal running down their body, pointing at the guy with an unusually long finger.
“No, I don’t need you for anything else then cover.” Said a man’s voice that I felt familiar. There was a flash of light, as the man crumbled, a projectile flinging through him towards me. I ducked, with fast reflexes, and it embedded itself in the elevator door. Speaking of, around now, I heard the screech of an elevator starting to fall. I hated it went Kilili was right.
I looked up. A metal finger lodged just above me, as I stood up fully. The guy had hit the ground, clutching the case, and bleeding. I coulda sworn I saw some kind of light from him, but I had bigger worries.
“The hell is this?” I asked to Kilili. To the other person, I asked to open air.
“Human, I think. Magically augmented. I haven’t seen much like it. Trying to…figure out more…”
She sounded…tired. Sluggish?
“I’m no one special.” Said…Kilili’s voice. But not from Kilili. The person was walking around the desk. “Just here for what’s mine.”
So…they could hear her. Uh oh.
They were reaching for the case in the dying man’s grasp. I declined them the chance. I reached into my back, and pulled something out-the blade that I’d left embedded there, out of forgetfulness, and hurled it. Striking their hand through, I saw a splash of sparks instead of crimson blood, as they reeled back. I moved forward, blade in hand.
“Sorry, freak, that’s mi-“
They whipped around, and struck out, with their other hand, currently four fingered, and muttered something under their breath, in a voice I didn’t know.
“01000010011001010010000001110011-“
Another burst of sparks. I went flying back, unable to move, as I struck wall. My eyes almost lulled back into my head.
They stood up, and pulled the blade out of their hand, letting it fall with a clatter. They peered at me with grey eyes.
“Ah. I see now. A transgressor. But which one, I wonder. All of the actually scary ones are dead or condemned. Except Genocide. But I doubt you’re him.” A man’s voice who I didn’t recognize, as they walked forward. “I suppose I could bind you. That was a good throw. And it would be a shame to waste whoever you are.”
I formulated a plan.
I’d break the spell, kick them in the chest, and go for my sword, and make my demand.
I’d break the spell. I’d break the spell. I’d break the spell. I’d break the spell. I’d break the SPELL
As they were about to reach a metal hand to my face, I spun into a kick, slamming them front and center-for all the metal they had going on, they certainly didn’t feel very heavy. They went careening back, so I pulled my sword to my hand, and pointed it at them. I spoke, with all the determination I could muster.
“Give me both your fancy hands, or you’re going out that window.”
The threat landed. The power was set.
And they smiled a mouth full of silver teeth.
“Clever. Intimidation, Conspiracy…maybe Marauding? I imagine my choices are give you the hands, or you get a better chance of getting me out the window. Do I have it right?”
I didn’t budge, keeping my sword leveled.
“Unfortunately. I made these devices by hand, no pun intended. So I’ll take my chances.”
Now, it was my turn to grin, as they started to mutter their numbers. They were expecting me to close the distance. I did no such thing. I hurled Macariotes like the world’s least balanced throwing knife. I saw grey eyes widen, as they realized every air particle, force of friction, and sheer luck in this room was on the side of the Bandit making good on his promised threat. The blade embedded up to the hilt in their chest, as they stumbled, magic releasing too early in an unstable chaotic warp of force, shattering the back window. I then pulled the gun off my belt, and leveled it forward. The same bullet as before loaded into the chamber, I’d found it in my pocket in the elevator.
The roar of gunpowder and high caliber force sent the strange magic user plummeting down at least a dozen stories. I tucked the gun back into my coat, and pulled Macariotes back to my hand, as I walked back over to the center of the room.
The guy dying on the floor couldn’t be older then 30. He was brown haired, fit, and healthy save for the giant holes torn in his body. I felt…kind of bad for him. As he thrashed in death throes…and…
I paused. I looked down where his hand met the case, and moved to grab it. He was gripped on tight, but I saw it-wires, jutting out from the handle, embedded into his skin.
But then, I blinked, and they were gone. And rather then rolled into his head, his eyes were locked to awareness, staring up at me. No way he had the strength to speak. But his eyes said it all. ‘Help me’.
“I’m sorry.” I said, with a little bit of sincerity, as I wrenched the case from him, and he died on the floor.
I exhaled, then turned away, looking at the case…
I didn’t see any wires.
Man, I didn’t know Transgressors got the trippy effects of blood loss. Whatever.
“If you can’t tell me about what the hell THAT was, can you at least path me a route to safety now that a vampire’s no doubt on her way to sic her menagerie on me?”
I turned over, and Kilili was back in my peripheral.
“Elevator shaft has a snake surprise. Stairwell definitely has the rest. One option left.”
She looked at the window. I sighed.
“That’s the best you’ve got?”
“Just climb, don’t jump. You’ve got all the time in the world.”
I walked over the whistling wind of the broken window, and looked down. No sign of any metal freaks. And I could swear I heard the padded footfalls of a wolf.
“I wish.”
————————————————————————————
I’d given up on going back to the Maxx. I secured another vehicle, much less nice and much less conspicuous, and peeled back around to deliver my prize. But, the place was still swarming with cops, and no outward sign of Leo doing damage control. So, I put it off. He owed me my bonus either way. I peeled back through the streets of Baltimore, though with a little more abatement for the speed limit this time. No cops, no tails, as I pulled into a parking spot two blocks from my home. Some guy would find his stolen car. I wasn’t worried about it being traced back to me. As long as I put into the bare minimum into avoiding being caught, I could always kick the karmic can down the road. A perk of being me. I kept the case close to me, as I walked down the street, turning a few corners.
Kilili was still with me. She would be until all this was said and done. Contract, and all.
“So, guess we’re stuck together.” I offered, testing the waters.
“I’m not sleeping with you again.” She said, sharply.
“Darn. Want to help me crack open the case, then?” I said, raising it up.
“Once we’re inside, sure.” She said, a little bit annoyed sounding. Whatever.
I lived in a row house. Nestled between others, in a historic part of town, it tended to get overlooked, which was my preference for a lair. I’d lived in Baltimore for three years now, Bodytown USA, the perfect cover. It beat Miami, except for the nightlife.
I turned the key in the lock, and slipped inside, breathing a sigh of relief as the magical defenses of my demesne activated. I moved over to the giant recliner in the living room, and practically hurled myself into it with a contented sigh.
“…Man, what a night.” I remarked, as Kilili was reflected behind me in the blank T.V screen.
“Indeed. Your life is as always, thrilling.” I couldn’t tell if her deadpan tone was out of exhaustion, or sarcasm. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
“Right. Anyways-” I hefted the case into my lap. “Let’s get this sucker open.”
I pulled on the latches. They didn’t budge. I sighed, as I noticed the number combination on the edge of the case.
“Well shit. Don’t suppose you can divine the combination?”
I watched the demon close her eyes in focus, as I flicked on the T.V. Boring news, boring news, exciting news (More gold in the market), boring news. I flicked to a police procedural and let the detectives drawl on in the background.
“Any luck?” I asked over my shoulder.
“It’s protected. I can probably figure it out, if you give me time. But you probably don’t need to open it.”
“Hm?” I asked, not bothering to look at her.
“Go get the phone.” She said, moments before it started ringing. I sighed, and stood, flicking the T.V off as it was about to go to commercial, which was lucky for me. I trudged over to the wall phone, and picked up.
“‘Sup?”
“Band.” Leo said, sounding exhausted, and maybe a little fearful. “Do you have the case?”
“Course I do. You owe me my bonus, though.” I said, with swagger, and maybe a bit of mocking in my voice. “You ok? They were swarming the Maxx last I saw. Oink oink, and all that. A real pigst-“
He cut off another sentence or two of farmyard humor.
“The Maxx isn’t safe. It’s compromised tenfold. We need to meet for the hand off, secondary location. You know the Penthouse on 4th? Where I hosted that delegation?”
“How could I forget. When should I meet you?”
“As soon as you can. Leave now. I’ll be waiting.”
He hung up before I could get another word in edgewise.
I sighed, annoyed at my boss’s antics, turning around to grab the case from where I’d left it near the chair, and starting for the door, prepared to trudge my way to another car, and drive across town.
“No rest for the wicke-“
A bolt of paranoia struck me like Apollo’s personal divine inspiration. I stopped in my tracks, as I considered the night’s events, and everything I knew. I spoke to Kilili, who I knew was still listening.
“Hey, Kilili, was that actually Leo?”
The question hung for a moment. Then she burst out laughing.
“I was wondering if you’d ask. No, it wasn’t. You’re smarter then you look.”
“All in the name.” I said, grinning to myself. “Guess I better get ready for whatever nonsense trap is waiting. If they can call, they can track. You want the credit for helping take down the impersonator?”
“It can’t hurt. What do you need?”
“Just a bit of help and luck.”
————————————————————————————
I decided I was done with elevators for the night, and leisurely began walking up the stairs of the obnoxiously luxurious building that one of Leo’s penthouses was in. He had a lot of these. Perks working for the capitol D Daemon. Mortal capital came easy to something or someone like that, and it’s coveted hell of a lot.
Either way, I hefted the faded green duffel bag that I had packed to the brim with fun surprises for the child of a bitch who was impersonating my boss.
“You think Leo made it?” I asked the air. As I rounded the corner, I saw that Kilili was following me, behind a few paces.
“If he didn’t, he’s unworthy of father’s name.” She said, simply “But Leonidas has backup plans. Contingencies. He also can’t be dispatched without opening a portal to father’s side, so he’s alive at least.”
“Point. Ok. You get a sweep of the building?”
“Plenty of humans. But to cut to the chase without testing you on what questions to ask, the Penthouse is cloaked from my sight, even better cloaking then before.”
“Ugh. I hate repeat encounters. Serves me right, thinking a twelve story fall would kill any beast worth a damn. No vampires?”
“No vampires.”
“Small mercies, I guess.”
I sighed. This wasn’t good. Most of my abilities wouldn’t work on any person or thing that I’d encountered before. Bandits weren’t supposed to pursue those that got away. One and done, then move on. Which meant my planning ability, my threat ability, all of that, went out the window. I had plenty of goodwill built up from playing my part all these years, and if the impersonator brought help, I could probably skirt an outright violation of my aspect, but this was uncomfortable.
I just had to stick to doing things that a normal more-than-human person could do. I’d packed my magical stash into the bag, with plenty of fun tricks I’d stolen and earned throughout the years. Hopefully, if I leaned on those instead of my powers, whatever power audited me and the other Transgressors wouldn’t be too mad about this. Hopefully.
And if not, Leo would owe me big time. So, I’d get my moneys worth one way or another.
I fished out a few items from the bag in preparedness-a lockpick, a hammer, and a dart gun. I then ascended the final flight of stairs that I needed to, and reached the fourth floor. Each floor had four penthouses, and Leo owned the fourth one on the fourth floor. Auspicious. Or just coincidence. I didn’t believe in coincidence, though.
I didn’t walk to penthouse number four, however, instead, poor number three would be my first victim. I stuck the lockpick in the door, and in a few seconds flat, I’d hit all the necessary tumblers to pop it open. I eased the door open, and moved into the entryway, creeping forwards carefully. As long as the people in here were asleep, which I had planned for, things would go without a hitch.
Either they were asleep, or didn’t notice me, because I was able to move into this lavish living room without a problem. I crept up to the bordering wall with penthouse four, and palmed the hammer. It wasn’t all that big. You could maybe hammer a stake in with it. Or, if you knew it’s magical property, you could use it to make a door where there wasn’t one. It wasn’t perfect, and they didn’t last long, and there was a dozen other caveats, but here?
The door appeared, bridging penthouses four and three. If I remembered the layout from the party right, it should spit me out…
I walked into penthouse four’s bathroom. I grinned to myself, as I whispered under my breath.
“Kilili, don’t suppose you have a better look now?”
She was behind me in the mirror.
“I do. Four artificial life forms, and the same signature as before. The artificial ones are equidistant from the central one. Also, Leo is there.”
“You don’t ever give me anything but bad news.”
“You don’t pay me to lie.”
I sighed. Phase two of the plan began now. I reached into the bag, and withdrew almost cartoonishly round, long fused bombs. I palmed a lighter in one hand, lit the first one, cracked the door open, and tossed it in the direction of the front door.
The explosion was loud, dramatic, and ultimately fake. I heard footsteps, moving towards the door, and the sound of movement from the living room. I popped my head out, and saw the golden lines give away the position of my target. I raised the dart gun, and fired.
Luckily, I was a good shot even without relying on being the King of Bandits. Against an unsuspecting victim, across a less then twenty foot distance, nailing them in the throat was a piece of cake. The dart sunk in, and I grinned, drawing out Macariotes, and moving to close the distance. They coughed, putting a hand to their throat, and pulling out the dart.
Too late, because the poison was already in their system. And it meant, that their magical equilibrium would be throw off just long enough for Macariotes to sail through the same neck I’d just struck, to ensure they stayed dead this time. I sprung off the couch, and swung around, as their delayed reaction time wouldn’t be enough to stop me.
But they didn’t even try. They just snapped their fingers.
Purple flame filled the air, as Leonidas sprung out of the nearest shadow. I dove down, hitting a roll, as the fireball struck the opposite wall. It was phantasmal fire, so it didn’t ignite the building, as nice as it would be. I sprung to my feet, blade outstretched defensively. Leo, eyes blank, stared at me from behind the individual with the metal hands. They spoke, and Leonidas’s voice came out.
“Last chance to hand over the case. You brought it with you, didn’t you?”
They said, with a silver smile slowly growing.
Shit. This was bad.
“Of course I didn’t.” I said, lying. “It’s halfway across the globe by now.”
“I can sense my own artifacts, Bandit.”
Double shit.
I took in a long sigh.
“Leo. You owe me big time.”
I reached into my bag, and pulled out another explosive, hurling it without lighting it. Leo interceded, because clearly he thought it was, which bought me time to reach for another object. Meanwhile, movement from the exits, as I saw four of the same generic white man in a suit running towards me. Artificial life forms, huh?
“Agents.” The spellslinger said in a woman’ voce, looking at me. “Arrest this Bandit on his various charges, on my authority as part of the OOA.”
That was clever. I was a Bandit, which meant a lawman could bring me down. Or several. If they actually had that authority…of course they were with the government. Couldn’t trust the President to slice bread these days.
I tossed the object in my palm upwards, and ducked back as Leo ignited his fists in purple fire, and prepared to launch himself towards me. Luck for me, his fire was still phantasmal, so it couldn’t do anything to the paper sculpture I’d just tossed into the air.
The paper god unfurled into it’s magically stored form. A little trick that was passed around a lot of the faiths of the world was making sculptures of their gods, and using the energy of collective faith to fuel a pretty impressive transformation. The practice originated in Hati, or something.
Which was all to say, an eight legged flying horse was now in the room, and it wasn’t happy in the slightest. It dove down, and I hoped that whoever my opponent was, they didn’t know how these sculptures worked.
It seemed though, that the artificial life form label applied to these people in suits, because they didn’t seem worried about the horse. Fuck.
I pulled myself back, as Leo’s flaming fist burned his nice carpet. Definitely not him in the drivers seat. I took a few steps back, and pulled out the gun in my free hand, discharging it’s last bulled for the third time, which seemed to be the charm, because the chamber was now empty. Oh well, it had been a fun trinket while it lasted, and there was one less agent in the room. The other three took cover and pulled out their own guns. I charged with Macariotes towards Leo, as he moved into fighting position, keeping the gun pointed at the agents because they didn’t have to know it was empty.
The spellslinger technofreak took a few steps back, looking over the dart, as if another glance would cure the poison running through their body. The smug analytical look was pissing me off.
Leo threw a burst of flame, and I cut through it with Macariotes, which had been forged as a demon slaying sword and still had some old tricks. I made a plan to duck under him, and stab him in the side, but it was foiled by a grazed gunshot to my shoulders, the agents aim seemingly not concerned with Leo. One of their bullets even hit him. He was fine. Not that they seemed to care.
I seemed to have two factors pushing against me. On one hand, I’d made a lot of plans to take down Leo, which meant the Aspect of Bandit was inclined to have me succeed. You don’t work with an agent of Daemon without having a countermeasure. But, these agents were lawmen, ordered to my capture, which gave them a leg up on me. Bandits get caught.
Maybe, just maybe, they’d equal out. As long as I kept Leo in the fight.
New plan: Bluff the universe.
I filled my other hand with another object, the silver blade that had pierced my back earlier. Thank you, freak lady.
I feigned a throw of a blade of the lord’s metal at the demon, and then launched into a thrust. Leo moved out of the way of the easier to avoid blow, and I let the blade fly, nailing one of the agents in the chest from the angle I was. The other two shot at me diligently and annoyingly. One of them hit me in the shoulder. Good thing that the best Bandits don’t let themselves be slowed by things like that. I pulled Macariotes back in front of me, and cut forward, landing slicing blow across Leo’s suit that I assume the spellslinger gave him to be in uniform.
“Hey, buddy-”
I said, as I moved into a thrust. He stepped back, forming more purple fire.
“You really gonna let yourself be a puppet? Your sister is watching.”
I gloated, because I could see that Kilili was watching from the banister. She was probably eating this up.
“Besides, that bitch isn’t even a real spellbinder. Doesn’t speak latin, doesn’t have any implements, artifacts…c’mon.”
Most bindings were done through making yourself superior. If you thought you were at a disadvantage, all the easier. So maybe-
Nope, fireball went over my shoulder, I ducked to the side, feeling the phantasmal heat.
“And I’m even kicking your ass-” I said, lunging and getting him with a cut across the arm. “That wouldn’t happen unless something was wrong.”
I said, knowing it wasn’t true. I had a thirty two step plan that would result in me being in charge of the operation if I wanted.
He released a rolling wave of purple flame. I lunged over the couch, as another bullet clipped my arm, and took off running, getting behind the agents cover, who rose to shoot at point blank range. I lopped one’s head off, without a single drop of blood, before letting myself get shot in the abdomen to impale the other. The fire hadn’t reached his allies. Big mistake. I released Macariotes and grabbed two of the handguns from fallen agents.
“Are they only letting you use the sparklers while bound? Where’s your contractees, your daemonic form?” I said, firing a rapid set of bullets into his front. He’d walk it off. I was mostly using gunshots as a means to cover my own muttering.
“Kilili, how much for you to teach me counterbinding?” I murmured, under my breath. She heard, and responded, now standing in my shadow. Or I assumed. I had to actually keep my eyes on the ball. Or the torso I was putting bullets into.
“Free. Assert dominance. Assert that you know him better then the binder. Assert Daemon’s influence.” Her voice was a whisper, but I heard it over the gunfire. “Metaphysical gestures matter.”
I nodded, and fired off the last two shots. Leo stopped reeling, his torso a mess of black bile and exposed roiling flesh. Normally, this is where he’d unleash his true form, and I’d be a goner. But instead, he righted himself, and threw another two fireballs, as I started running. Agents down. But the threat of arrest from earlier still had weight, and Leo was technically working for them.
“Leo! You’re an idiot, you know that? They aren’t even paying you, and you don’t do work pro bono. You’re so much of a cheapskate you charge by the minute.”
I jumped out of the way of another fireball, closer, this time.
“Leonidas! The feds helped trash your club, and this bitch works for them! You’d fucking never. The real you got so mad over a broken table you sent someone into the realm of torment!”
I didn’t get as lucky on the next throw. Phantasmal fire engulfed my body, and it hurt on a level bullets didn’t. FUCK, ow, ow-
I ran forward, through another blast, and skewered Leo with the blade Macariotes, forged to slay demons. I’d dulled it from a demon slayer to something more ‘me’, but the intent was there. I felt him lurch.
“Leonidas the Pleonektein!” I shouted, through the pain. “You’re better then killing your best employee. You’re better then letting your sister watch you get humiliated! And you and I still have a FUCKING contract-!”
For a moment, I lost my voice, and didn’t have the strength to move my blade further in, or release my grip. So, for a moment, I simply burned. And then…
The burning stopped. I suddenly felt much better, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I’d never been burned. Another set of hands removed Macariotes from his chest. I stepped back, and found Leo’s eyes clear and strong, as he grunted. His wounds slowly but surely on the mend.
“You owe me one.” Was the first thing I said, to test the waters.
“So I do, Band. So I do. That was an embarrassment. Let us swiftly correct it.”
We both turned to the wand.
They were leaning against the window, still turning the dart over. Seeing that we were finally focused on them, they tossed the dart aside.
“I didn’t expect quite so much from a mere Transgressor. Good work, Bandit.” They said, in a different man’s voice.
“Yeah yeah. You can reward my good behavior by letting me take your head off.”
“I’m at your mercy. My magic still isn’t back. What did you hit me with?”
“Well it-” I started.
Leo put up a hand. Igniting it in the same motion. “No more talk.” He said, poised to throw. I felt the power in the air, and saw the spectral chains starting to waft from him, he was calling servitors.
“If you insist. But, Bandit, the chip, please?”
“This again?” I said, as Leo threw his first fireball, and I ran forward. They ducked the first strike, and the first fireball. I thrusted, they backed up.
“You’re not seriously going to give it to a demon?” They questioned, in the voice of a young human girl. As if that was going to sway me.
“Whatever gets me paid.” I said, swinging again, managing to ping off their metal left hand. Their metal right lunged out for me, and I backed off out of instinct, even if it couldn’t do much to me without magic.
Another quick set of fireballs, they were forced to keep backing up, towards the very back wall. I advanced.
“If you complete this job, you’ll never get paid again.” They said, simply, withdrawing a small object from their belt-it almost looked like a needle, and hurled it at me. I didn’t want to see anymore tricks, so I jumped out of the way wholesale, and pressed the attack, going for an overhead cut that they ducked beneath, and wove back around. Then, a fireball came for them, and they were forced back to the wall.
“The hell are you on about?” I said, stabbing forward again. They were against the wall, now. “Leo can’t burn me, especially not now.” I was confident in that now. I had confirmation Macariotes worked on him.
“Oh? He didn’t tell you who this job was for, did he?” Now, they used the voice of a woman I didn’t know.
I stabbed into the wall, missing them by an inch, I pulled it out and swiped, cutting their side. Black, oily blood dribbled out. They winced. “It doesn’t matter who the client is.” I said, as I moved in for the kill. “Not my business.”
“Then it won’t bother you to know that his father-“ Their grey eyes flicked to Leo. “Is the client?”
Everyone in the room stopped.
I held my blade up, defensively.
“What the fuck? Daemon wants that thing?”
“The case has a chip. The chip is the capstone to a very important project. But even on it’s own, it could change the world. Or, in Daemon’s case, bend it to his will.” They staggered back a few steps. Leo had frozen, grimacing.
“…This true?” I asked, looking over at him. He nodded.
“I fetch artifacts for him all the time. The world hasn’t ended yet. Besides, he seemed more interested in the President NOT having it.
That was…a good point.
“What can this chip even do?” I said, narrowing my eyes at the person across from me. “You made it, right?”
“I did. A stroke of genius. It’s capable of so much, but I imagine all Daemon cares about is being able to forge magic through-“
Leo hurled a fireball at them, as they took a step too far from me. Purple fire struck them, and they yelled, going flying back into a smoldering heap. I hesitated, for a moment, and then charged. I wasn’t going to let them seed doubt in me after the night I’d had. Plus, I could deal with Leo later. I cut the blade down, but they…laughed?
They gripped something. On the damaged wall, they reached in, pulling out a handful of wires as I skewered them in the gut. They pulled, pulled, and then, in a burst of sparks and light, it was almost as if they were…sucked into the wall.
Only a moment, and they were gone. My sword coated in oil. I released a long and loud sigh. Mages always ran when the going got tough. It was only ok when I did it.
I dismissed Macariotes and turned to Leo.
“Hey.” I said, casually walking over to him. He was knitting shut his wounds. “That true?”
“I don’t question what father wants. But if this was as important as that one claimed, the prize would be higher. Besides. Destroying the world is bad for business and so are Monopolies.”
I shrugged. “Whatever. If you do destroy the world, give me a heads up so I can go to space, or something. Find the moon girl’s home planet and meet all of the alien babes.” I grinned.
“Will do. I’m going to return to the Maxx. Clean up the mess. See if I need to burn the whole thing down. Meet me at my other penthouse across town in two hours. Keep the case safe until then. You’ll be getting paid extra.” All of those words sounded like music to my ears. I nodded, and clapped him on the shoulder.
“You’re not too bad Leo.”
“I try. I’ll pay back the favor you’ve given me, Band. Separate from our existing arrangement. Father won’t be happy if I let a debt like that go unsettled.” He still seemed a bit embarrassed by the whole thing, and I was pretty sure I couldn’t blame him. Powerful demon getting used like that. Wasn’t a good look.
“Sounds like a plan. See you on the flip side.”
Leo nodded, and stepped backward into a column of purple fire. I turned over, and found Kilili on the part of the couch I could see in the corner of my eye.
“Some night, huh?” I threw myself back into a nearby leather recliner, as I said that.
“Indeed. A productive one. I suppose then, our compact is finished for now, Bandit.” She seemed ponderous, and from what I see, was staring at the Baltimore skyline.
“I guess I’ll send you your check in the mail, or something?” I said, following her gaze to the cityscape of Bodytown.
A long pause, then she leaned forward, standing up.
“No, I don’t think that will be necessary. I’ve gotten enough out of this without needing your money or artifacts. Keep them, for a job well done.” She was being weirdly generous, as she turned to leave, even though she didn’t need the door.
“Hey, wait a sec.” I stood, and looked at her fully. And for the first time in awhile, she let me.
“Yes, Bandit?” She asked, without THAT much annoyance in her voice.
“What will your dear old dad do with the case, do you think?” I asked, then swiftly added- “Off the record, obviously”
Her eyes studied me fully, for a long few moments, before she spoke.
“A lot more of the same, I’d imagine. Beasts like him don’t change.”
She walked out the door without another word.
I stood in silence for a few moments. Before I hefted the bag that had the case in it, and started making my own exit. I was a little bit wracked about the whole thing. On the one hand, Daemon had made me rich. On the other, I did like the world untouched by him. The people he enslaved, the places he controlled, they were all just farms, power plants for his energies in that tomb in the fertile crescent he was biding beneath. I never liked anything he’d made, outside of his kids.
I sighed, wincing a bit as breath now hurt slightly between my wounds. I exited back into the hallway, and moved for the elevator this time. No cause to take the stairs anymore. I got in, and pushed the button for the first floor.
Maybe after this, I needed a vacation. I had a cousin in Poland, maybe they could take me to a nice ice beach.
Yeah. Something like that.
Apparently, though, it really wasn’t my night. No more daydreaming for me. As the elevator got about halfway down, the top maintenance hatch of the elevator opened, and the woman got behind me before I could spin around properly. The knife cut the side of my throat, and a sharp kick pushed me down with a slam, into the metal wall of the elevator I stood, and drew out my sword, dropping the bag in the process, and lunged forward.
The same woman as earlier in the night. I shoulda fed her the fingers. In the light, I could see her muscles, her trigger discipline, each movement calculated. I’d gotten lucky before, I realized. And worse yet, this time, she’d gotten the drop on me. Which meant she had a plan. And since I’d stolen from her, that meant her revenge was more potent, as this was a Bandit’s fate. I thrusted forward slightly off center, only to have another silver knife embed in my chest cavity sinking in with a deep and visceral thunk. I went tumbling to the side of the elevator, my splattered blood decorating the stainless steel walls with crimson. My now pooling blood nearly reached my bag, before she plucked it off the ground, and began rummaging through it. She found the case, and took it out. Of course this was about this damn thing.
“Transgressor. You shall abide the enemies of humanity no longer. You beat me once, and I have taken revenge. I have laid a plan, and brought you down. Your death will make the world a better place, one ruled by law, justice, and humanity.”
All the right words too. I struggled to move. More weight then just the knife pressing down on me. I was beat. I’d gotten sloppy, and now…
For a moment, my vision and senses weren’t there, like another reality layering over me for a strangely hallucinatory experience. The woman’s monologue cementing my defeat felt like backdrop.
I saw a distant landscape, with moving mountains, and swathes of comatose people decorating the ground. Sinking pits that let into worlds unknown below, and a green sky marked with metal. It looked awful. Something about looking at it filled me with dread. The peaceful sound of a gust of wind put some primal terror in me, as if it was the last place I should ever hear such a thing.
It was almost merciful, then, when my senses honed back into my reality, the danger sensing part of my brain clocking that she just pulled out a gun. I gripped my sword, and stood up in a spring, the first gunshot missing, with one last burst of adrenaline. I swung around, no energy for a retort, or a quote, or anything. I could take her head off. One swing.
I propelled towards her, she took one step back, and said-
“You will deliver us unto evil no longer.”
I didn’t quite have the speed to reach her.
The gunshot roared through the space, and through my neck, piercing through the back wall of the elevator, just as we settled to the ground floor. She hefted the case, and began to walk back into the lobby. All energy left me. Blackness encroached on my vision.
And I heard that terrifying breeze once again.
Kindling And Miscellany 